What’s worked for my son with Down syndrome…road safety.

Sometimes when you start out teaching your kids how to do things, you have no idea whether your approach will work or not. That worry can be amplified when your kid has developmental delay as the fruits of your labour can take a long time to ripen. Trying to balance sticking to a method to provide consistency and ditching something that doesn’t work before I have wasted too much time on it used to drive me crazy but as time passes, I am getting better at knowing what works for us and what doesn’t.
So, I thought I would write a little bit about things that have worked for us and why.

I thought I would start with road safety because this was one of the biggest fears I had early on. Like most parents starting this journey I’ve had so many people delight in giving me all the horror stories of uncontrollable kids or near death experiences as their kids belt out into oncoming traffic. This terrified me. What if I was never able to teach him to be safe near a road? What if he wrestled out of my grip suddenly one day and threw himself under a truck?

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I decided early on that I would try to teach him some road sense in the hope that he would learn to walk with me safely and listen to my instructions…and I decided to start from the moment he could walk. Partly because the earlier I started the better, but also because he would be pretty slow and I could catch him easily if I had to!

So here is a list of things I did that have actually worked.
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Life is therapy too…

I’d love to be that kind of mum you see online, who has shelves full of interesting things that enliven and inspire their kids….but I’m not. I gaze wistfully at photographs of clean children engaging with wide-eyed wonderment at the quaint, colour coordinated activities devised by their talented mothers. I have evil fantasies of the 1,647 other photos taken before they FINALLY got one that looks like the kid is…

a) actually using the activity and
b) enjoying themselves.
(Yes, I’m spiteful like that…)

Sensory buckets, cloud dough, button snakes, flash cards…..I’ve seen them all. I keep trying them every now and then but Wade just isn’t into structured games (that are my idea…)

Setting up an ‘invitation to play’ in our house is an invitation to walk right past it and play with the dog instead.

A sensory bucket would only evoke the sense of me swearing under my breath as I pick a thousand tiny pieces of lavender scented crap off the floor after Wade pushes it off the table and wanders off to see if there is an unattended butcher’s knife within arm’s reach on the bench.

Normally I wouldn’t care, but raising a child with developmental delay means I am an expert in Mother Guilt. The minute Wade was born, a small portion of my brain was set aside, devoted entirely to being preoccupied with ‘Therapy’. I can’t avoid it…it’s built in. The fact is, we know that kids with Down syndrome benefit enormously from regular physio, OT and speech therapy. We know that when we teach our kids things they learn and the earlier we start, the better the results. I know that with persistence, consistency and patience, Wade will develop all the skills he needs to be an independent, functioning member of society….it just takes more time.

It’s a common complaint from parents of a child with extra needs….they don’t feel as though they are getting enough therapy for their child. Either there are not enough services available or there never seems to be enough hours in the day to rush between physio appointments or speechie sessions especially if their child has extra health issues that mean doctors appointments as well. I used to send myself crazy worrying whether I was doing enough for Wade but I have come to a bit of a realisation. Continue reading