There’s sometimes a big difference between how Wade acts when he is at home and when he is out in public. I’m certain this is not unique, in fact I’m sure this is true for children everywhere. I understand why….he is comfortable at home. Home is familiar and it is where he is safe and happy. Same for all kids I imagine.
The problem is, being out and about is the perfect opportunity to change some attitudes about what Down syndrome is. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t run up to unsuspecting people and dangle my child in front of their eyeballs saying “Look! Isn’t he amazing???” I don’t set out of my house on a “hearts and minds” mission every time I go shopping but if the opportunity arises, I like to take advantage of it.
So, even though I know I shouldn’t, I can’t help feeling a little disappointed when Wade doesn’t act like Wade when I want him to. It’s always the way….I find myself with someone who is looking at Wade as though they need convincing of his worth in this world. I sit there hoping that he will turn on the charm offensive transforming this skeptical onlooker with a bout of impromptu giggles and waves. Maybe dazzle them with series of signs and gestures extolling the wonders of the world around him. Instead, he often sits silently ignoring me…and them…. throws something on the floor or something else that confirms every stereotype this onlooker suspects about us.
I shouldn’t feel this way and I’m not proud of it. It’s not up to Wade to prove his place in this world. He can act like a brat if he wants to or stare out the window without worrying if he is going to undermine the entire global Down syndrome advocacy movement but I would be lying if I said it doesn’t annoy me just a little bit.
The first thought that comes to mind after an encounter like this is a sort of self-appeasing mantra that I say a lot.
“Oh well…their loss”
I say it because deep down I know he is awesome and they just missed out on seeing it. I thought it was just Murphy’s Law but something happened this week that made me realise Wade knows more about people than I do sometimes.
….and maybe, there might be more to it than I thought. Continue reading