Learning to be resourceful….and brave.

I’m not into New Years resolutions but this year I decided to make one. Not so much a quit this or start that type…more of a quiet mantra that I will return to as the year goes on. This year I want to be resourceful and brave. Because this year I will need to be. There’s a reason I haven’t written for months and I guess I just didn’t know where to start. You see, Mick and I have decided to separate.

It’s mutual, amicable and will be for the best in the long run but here’s the thing…it’s not particularly something that I want to write about because it’s personal and private but it will change how I do everything from now on….including my writing, my parenting and my ability to support myself and Wade. So even though it’s private, it’s kind of relevant to this blog and I’ve been at a loss to work out how to write from now on and still keep some of me for me if you know what I mean. I will answer the obvious question though….it’s not because Wade has Down syndrome. If anything, I think that is helping us stay good to each other during this process.

So, while the details of why we are separating are irrelevant here, I think the range of emotions and feelings I have been experiencing as I go through it reminds me of the feelings I was going through when I was pregnant with Wade. The similarities are so strong that it has given me a new perspective and a new understanding of what it means to face challenges and how useful sad and overwhelming emotions can actually be. Continue reading

Behave…everyone is looking at you.

I was in the supermarket the other day and I saw a woman up ahead with a child in the trolley. The child was about 2yo and was crying.

Look around…” the mother said, “… you’re the only one crying here…

I am not judging this woman. I understand that there is often A LOT going on in the lives of others that bubbles up to the surface and comes out as frustration when someone is at the end of their tether….

….it’s just that I hear this kind of thing a lot.

It takes many shapes and forms;

“Behave!, everyone is looking at you”
“Don’t do that, you’re embarrassing me”
“Don’t wear that, it will make you look fat/skinny/daggy/whatever….”
“None of the other kids are being as naughty as you”

It always gets me thinking…. People are often terrified of what complete strangers think of them. It is so common for parents feel embarrassed by their kid’s behaviour in public or use the spectre of public humiliation to encourage better behaviour from their kids. Whenever I hear something like this, I find myself asking the question…. Continue reading

How a film can pull the rug out from under you.

The early months with Wade had their ups and downs but most of that was due to fact that we were new parents and were working this thing out as best we could. Down Syndrome played its part but only in the practical hiccups that we had along the way. There were more doctors appointments than usual, more information to understand and more time spent working on his physicality to help with his development. The thoughts I’d had during pregnancy about what it would mean to raise a child with DS didn’t change after he was born. Wade was happy and healthy and Down Syndrome was not much of an issue for us, luckily. I felt validated that all of the research and mental preparation I had done had paid off and I was already realising that Wade was capable of surprising things…

Then….

Continue reading